The Express Tribune

Babulal Gaur, Madhya Pradesh’s Home Minister, said,

“Rape is a mental disorder. Rapists do not inform police or government that they are going to rape. It cannot be curbed because it’s a mental disorder problem. We could have acted on motorists if they do not wear helmet. How can we prevent rape as it happens at a secluded place? This is a social crime which depends on men and women. Sometimes it’s right, sometimes it’s wrong.”

The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) has ostracised these remarks calling them the politicians ‘personal view and not in any way representative of the party’, but is that enough? Should a person, pledged to preserving law and order, be given the authority or liberty to pass such irresponsible remarks? Can such statements be legitimised under the banner of freedom of speech? Is this tacit permission and acceptance of a dangerous rape culture rampant in Indian society? Is this how a person in position of power is supposed to act? Are these the kind of role-models we want our kids to be imitating? Also noteworthy is the fact that a statement is yet to be made by the Indian prime minister about the recent rape of two teenage girls in Uttar Pradesh (UP). On the international front though, the series of sexual transgressions in India has been met by clamour and the UN has condemned the heinous indulgence. In another episode, Mulayam Singh Yadav, head of the regional Samajwadi Party who runs UP, attempted to chastise legal charges that foresee the death penalty for gang rape in his own nonsensical manner saying,

“When boys and girls have differences, the girl gives a statement that 'the boy raped me,' and that poor boy gets a death sentence.”

This string of insensitive statements made by Indian leaders is nothing new. These politicians have been seen giving the green signal to the objectification of women earlier too. Have you forgotten the time Laxman Savadi, Karnataka state minister for cooperation, was caught on camera sharing a porn clip during assembly talks with his colleague, CC Patil who, ironically, was the welfare minister for women and child development at the time? While Mr Yadav could argue that boys make ‘mistakes’, such mistakes should not be made whilst sitting in the state assembly, or should it? Unsurprisingly, like his father Akhilesh Yadav, Chief Minister of UP, also shares a very similar view on rape. Complaining about how the media is infatuated with UP and its problems, he said rape happens everywhere and all the media has to do is Google it and get the figures. Thank you Mr Akhilesh for enlightening us about the existence of... Google was it? Perhaps, while Googling these figures, the public will come across the alarming figures demonstrating how violent crimes touched a high of 33,824 incidents in 2012, including nearly 2,000 rapes and 4,966 murders under your governance. And while we are at it, let’s not blame the media for throwing light on a topic that otherwise, probably due to your immense efforts, would have been conveniently swept under the rug. Instead of attacking the messenger, try correcting yourself and stop shirking your responsibilities towards the men and women around you. Next up in line is Ramsevak Paikra, a Chhattisgarh minister who manages law enforcement. He said,

“Such incidents (rapes) do not happen deliberately. These kinds of incidents happen accidentally.”

In India, rape is reported every 21 minutes. While that may be an accident for you Mr Paikra, is the pint-sized conviction rate, of 26%, for rape cases in India, also by accident? Another alarming aspect in these rape cases is that the Dalits, a mixed population in India that was traditionally regarded as the ‘untouchables’ have been routinely raped by the upper castes. Despite efforts being made to improve this situation of caste discrimination, the steps taken are, evidently, not enough. It is estimated that a crime is committed against a person from the Dalit caste every 18 minutes. In a land where rape is on an alarming rise, politicians who do not respect women, and are so out rightly insensitive about the issues plaguing women in society, are a part of the problem - not the solution. The towering sexual violence in India will never be stemmed if leaders, responsible for ensuring law and order, have a mentality that protects rapists.

When one thinks about Pakistan, what is it that comes to mind? For some, it’s a land with troubled tribal areas or a cradle for terrorism. For many, it’s a haven for corrupt politicians, backed by a corrupt legislation and a flawed constitution. And for others, it’s just a mistake that Mr Jinnah made 67 years ago. If you ask a young, college-going boy about what Pakistan is to him, he will probably say that it’s,

“A country in which I was born, raised and taught the tricks of getting my way in the world either by hook or by crook. A country where guilty is the person who gets caught and honest is the man who didn’t get a chance.”

Ask an elderly man the same question and he will probably draw a bleaker picture,

“Pakistan is a land that was better off without the newer generations; the youth has ruined it with their arrogance and lack of respect for their elders – they have done nothing for this country and western media is corrupting them.”

However, I would urge you to ask yourself again, with complete honesty, what is Pakistan to you? Think about it. Put aside all the hustle and bustle you find yourself in everyday. Forget about the race you’ve been running to get bigger and better, having the largest share and making life amazing for yourself and yourself alone. Forget about all that and ask yourself,

“What is Pakistan to me?”

On August 14, 1947, a great Islamic state was born; a state which was claimed in the name of equality and justice for all; a country that was supposed to give Muslims and non-Muslims alike, the right to lead their lives with freedom and without any fear of a dominating power; where they could exercise their religion freely. Pakistan stood for acceptance. Pakistan stood for equality. Pakistan stood for humanity. Alas, today, we see ourselves standing at such a juncture in time where there is no reason for a Pakistani to feel proud of their nationality. A Muslim’s life is no longer safe in this land of the pure. He is at the mercy of other, fellow Muslims, belonging from his own country, who do not even flinch before taking away his honour, property or life. A man is not valued by the worth of his actions but by the silver in his pocket. Respect is bought and sold like a prostitute in the market. Bad times are upon us. Hard times are upon us. However, if you go back in history a little and deliberate over past events, you will understand that this nation has faced similar times back then too. The only difference is that, back then, the nation had someone dependable to lead them and the moral fibre of its society was still intact. Today, however, that is not the case. Let’s rewind a little and revisit a few events. It might give us more perspective. The year is 1947 and the venue is a narrow, dusty track, passing somewhere through Ferozepur, where a tattered group of men, women and children are slowly creeping towards the border – the way into the promised land, the way into Pakistan. The children, though hungry for days, living merely on water and what little they had in their bullock carts, are silent as death. They know that even the slightest of murmurs, if heard by the enemies, might turn into the screams they had been trying to escape every night. The men, tired to their bones but, vigilant, look for anything out of place. Armed only with sticks, or maybe one odd axe, they move ahead, enveloping the complete group to safeguard the women and children from any attack. The women are scared for their own lives, for the lives of their children and their men; they hold their kids close to their bosoms, hushing their slightest noise. They know it will pain their children, but they also know that this pain is a very small price to pay for what is promised to them. They have come a long way and have endured a lot to taste the fruit of freedom, which has been kept away from them for nearly 200 years. Today, at last, their children will finally breathe freely beneath the skies of Pakistan. However, suddenly, there is a hustle in the bushes ahead. Everyone freezes. The men, women and children hold their breaths, waiting for another attack, another blood bath, another massacre. After a few uneasy seconds, a hyena emerges from the bushes and runs away, but the group remains still, waiting, anticipating. After a minute or two, the men leading them start walking again and the journey continues. A young girl, probably six or seven, silently snuggles out of her aunts clutches and rushes to her father, a middle-aged man walking beside the bullock cart, and holds his hand. The father looks down and tries to hide his tensed feelings behind a smile. He picks the girl up in his arms and asks politely,

“What’s the matter?” “Will we be seeing Saqeena in Pakistan?” the girl asks.

The father’s eyes swell with tears but he tries to stay strong for her and replies,

“Hopefully, my child, hopefully Saqeena will meet us in Pakistan.”

The girl smiles back, relieved to hear that her elder sister is already in Pakistan, awaiting them. Little does she know, her sister was raped and killed in a riot in their village the day before they had started out for Pakistan. What pushed that father to give his child hope? What pushed that man to carry on after his first born had been brutally murdered? What was this unnatural motivation? The answer is the soil on which we stand today and the promise that came with it; the promise that has yet to be fulfilled. I ask you, each and every one of you, and I ask myself as well, is that how we treat the freedom we have, for which our fathers were killed, our mothers and sisters were raped and our children were orphaned? We can’t even choose a worthy enough man to lead us towards prosperity, is this the importance we’re supposed to give to our country? Is this the importance we’re supposed to give our motherland? That, after everything we could have gained from her, we abandon her, and say,

“Is mulk ka kuch nahin ho sakta”. (No good can come out of this country)

Is this the love we’re supposed to have for the freedom we got? That, after paying such a high price, we leave our country, only to be labelled as second-class citizens in a nation that kept us worse than dogs for nearly 200 years? I leave you to find the answers to these questions. Some of you will justify your existence and your stance over abandonment of your country on the pretext of personal gains and excuses to silence your maligning conscience. Many of you will say,

“Yes; after all, what has this country given to me that I should give a damn about it?”

And some of you will accept the failure as personal ones and realise that we have failed this land on an individual level. You, yes, you are the one for whom I have laboured to write this piece. You are the one who has to be awakened from this slumber. Now, it is your job to wake the others up as well. If people join you in your struggle, great; if they don’t, leave them – they are not worth the effort. This country needs the same sacrifices that it demanded in 1947 and, even back then, not all were willing to sacrifice. Now, I ask again: will you be a party to this farce being played against us or do you have the guts to fly against the wind? Because, if you do, then you are Iqbal’s shaheen but if you don’t, then get out of the way. We have a country to fix.

Imagine a village in Pakistan that has garnered international acclaim but still remains unknown to 99.9% of the Pakistani population. This village is called Thatta Ghulamka Dheroka (TGD), which I am sure many of you have never even heard of. TGD is located 30 kilometres outside Okara and is situated on the Okara-Faisalabad road. Before 1992, this was like any other poor village in Punjab, lacking resources and infrastructure. However, a couple of events completely changed the fate of this desolate settlement. Amjad Ali, a local resident of TGD, whilst studying in Germany, invited his German teacher Dr Senta Siller to visit the village. This was the first time Dr Siller was visited and this is how she unfolds her experience,

“It all started with an invitation for a cup of tea. My husband and I were invited by a former student, who was trained in my school in Germany to be a graphic designer, to see his village where he was born and to have a cup of tea with his grandmother. So, we went there to have a harmless cup of tea. (When we got there) I was shocked; so shocked to see the poverty of the people that on the way out of the village I said to my husband, ‘I will never come back to such a village. It is so depressing that so many people live in places full of dirt, lice and scabies, and individually, one can’t do anything for them’. To which he replied: ‘But didn’t you see the traditional mud structures? They are beautiful! We have to come back and make a movie on the daily lives of these farmers because it might all be gone in the next 10 years’. We visited the village half-a-year later, to begin shooting. During my four days there, I got more involved in the village’s problems. These village women showed me a very ancient doll which was, unfortunately, half eaten up by a dog and when I asked who made it, they replied, ‘Nobody did; this is the work of our great grandmothers and now this tradition is old.’ To which I replied: ‘If your great grandmothers could make such a lovely doll, then you can do much better’.”

Realising the potential this village had, Dr Siller decided to motivate these people to make new dolls and took the project under her wing. Along with Dr Norbert Pinstch, she established an NGO called Anjumane-e-Falah-e-Aama and a community known as the Women Art Centre in TGD in 1992. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] Thatta Khedona (village of toys) is the brand name for these handmade quality dolls, donned in colourful attires, representing traditional clothes from all over Pakistan including Punjab, Sindh, Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa, Balochistan, Kashmir and even the Kalash Valley. Each doll comes with embroidered costumes and cards, miniature hand knitted shawls, tin rickshaws, tin toys and eye catching pendants. Other accessories at Thatta Khedona include finger dolls, bookmarks and key chains that are crafted at TGD. All the local artists employed for the making of these toys are further trained by European volunteers to more finesse to their final products. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="437"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] Soon after this project was launched, domestic expatriates and families of diplomats began to show a keen interest in purchasing the products of Thatta Khedona as souvenirs from Pakistan and within a few years, these locally handmade dolls were being exported to more than 40 different countries! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] To highlight the talent of Pakistani locals, these dolls have been showcased in the International Dolls Museum (Amsterdam), International Dolls Museum (Iceland), the German Society for the Promotion of Culture (Germany), Dubai Shopping Festival (Dubai) and also in the International Museum for Children (Turkey). In 2014, Thatta Khedona received an award by the UN-IWSA (International Women Solidarity Association) in Turkey. These dolls have also won the Best Doll-Making Award in Lok Virsa, Islamabad. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="509"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] These dolls have also participated in the International Toy Fair in Nuremberg and they were the only official Pakistani submission, competing with 767 other worldwide project entries at the EXPO 2000 in Hanover, Germany. And in 2005, these manmade wonders were displayed at the Pakistani Pavilion in Aichi, Japan. These achievements should be considered a matter of pride and honour for Pakistan. Aside from the awards, a German documentary has also been made on Thatta Khedona, which was presented at Globians Film Festival in 2005. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] To preserve the culture, an annual competition of painting/decorating mud houses is held every year where the winner is awarded a cash prize of Rs10,000. The enterprise of Thatta Khedona has changed the village of Thatta Ghulamka Dheroka. The relative prosperity is visible and an example of this rise in living standards is that people have started building brick houses instead of the mud houses previously used. The focus is now shifting from handicrafts to agriculture and livestock by purchasing land and buffaloes. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] The demand for these artefacts varies and, sometimes, it even exceeds the supply ratio. Overall, TGD is a great example of a self-help project in Pakistan. It should motivate people living in rural areas to do better. If the people of TGD can do it, then other villages in Pakistan can also change their own destiny and leave a mark on this world with their skills and abilities. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="297"]

Photo: Ali Raza Jafri[/caption] I, too, visited the village in March 2014. It was a great experience and people were extremely welcoming, hospitable and friendly. I played my part in this self-reliance project by purchasing dolls for my sisters from the Women’s Art Centre. You can do so too, by promoting this initiative and by purchasing these little wonders from the Thatta Khedona shop. I personally feel that if such initiatives stay alive and are promoted we are in for a happier, healthier and more prosperous Pakistan.

The recent spate of rapes in the state of Uttar Pradesh in India has left everyone horrified. Along with the typical reactions from politicians and international agencies that accompany such heinous crimes, the link between lack of access to toilets and increased risk of rape, in particular, has received considerable attention in the national and international media. While the focus on the need for better sanitation is encouraging, I find it somewhat intriguing because neither the problem nor its consequences are ‘new’. In fact, it is one of the most fundamental requirements for any human being and therefore needs to be a constant priority as opposed to making the headlines only when an untoward incident takes place. I also believe that the relationship between rape and sanitation is far more complex than has been portrayed. Firstly, it is important to emphasise that access to a toilet in the home does not necessarily equal use. Various government programs and NGO initiatives have failed because people don’t feel a sense of ownership and use the toilet for everything but sanitation. In fact, it is well known that toilets constructed under government schemes often fall into disrepair and are subsequently used as storage spaces. This is because many of these programs have adopted a ‘we know what’s good for you’ approach as opposed to understanding the needs and aspirations of local communities and focusing on those who are disproportionately affected. For instance, in my experience, women usually champion the cause of sanitation the most because unsurprisingly they are the worst affected by its absence. Rape is one very severe risk that women face when they go out in to fields late at night or early in the morning but they are also confronted with innumerable health issues, teasing and molestation on a daily basis which perhaps don’t get reported as much because women have accepted these challenges as an inextricable part of their lives. Despite this, many sanitation programs focus primarily on the hardware aspects of construction as opposed to the softer issues of appreciating human needs and desires, facilitating the process of behaviour change, ensuring an explicit focus on women and sensitising men to the problems women face because of the absence of a toilet. Sensitisation is critical because decision making, including whether or not to invest in a toilet, is often the prerogative of men. Secondly, given the technical challenges associated with constructing household-level toilets in space constrained environments like slums, community toilets have an important role to play. However, these toilets are usually poorly maintained and unsafe for women. In fact, many rapes have taken place inside community toilet blocks, including those in schools because they are poorly lit or secluded. Moreover, access to public toilets is often inequitable because of social and cultural norms. For instance, I have seen villages where women who belong to a ‘lower’ caste are not allowed to use the community toilet. Thirdly and perhaps most importantly, we should not forget that the root cause of this problem is not so much the paucity of toilets but the engrained patriarchal mind-set. The majority of rapes are committed by perpetrators who are known to women and are people they trust implicitly. In fact, a number of crimes against women take place inside the home and are committed by relatives. Additionally, some women are raped because they ‘break’ certain societal rules and hence need to be ‘punished’. Others are raped inside police stations when they go to file a complaint. Is it unfair that two young girls had to go out in the dark to look for a toilet on that ill-fated night? Absolutely yes. In fact, it is something that should put all of us collectively to shame. However, I would go a step further and ask why the girls shouldn’t have expected to go out at night without worrying about rape or murder? Why do women constantly have to worry about when to step out of their homes? We need to stop finding convenient reasons like a woman’s clothing or lack of a toilet to explain rape. What we need to tackle are the perverse norms which ensure that girls are given food only after all the male members in the household have been well fed, a society that is tolerant of political leaders who make statements along the lines of ‘boys will be boys’ and a culture that allows men to define the boundaries of right and wrong for women. Rape doesn’t happen in isolation. It is one terrible outcome of a deep rooted mind-set that manifests in multiple ways in the daily life of a woman. Amidst all the talk of new sanitation campaigns being launched post these inhuman incidents, let us not forget to confront the far more difficult challenge of destroying age-old norms and ensuring that every woman is treated with respect and dignity. Let us collectively resolve to do our own little bit for this is certainly not India’s problem alone. From villages in Brazil to urban slums in South Africa and cities in Pakistan, women face the same plight. While some incidents receive more media and political attention than others, all are equally important because they involve a precious human life that is scarred or taken away forever.

Indian soap operas and dramas have been airing on Pakistani television for a long time now. Pakistani women especially, have been largely influenced by these drama serials and this can be seen in the way Hindi words have seeped into our language and Indian clothing has become part of our fashion. Women not only want to buy Tulsi’s sari now, but to also, at times, address an unfortunate happening or a mishap as abshugan (Hindi for bad luck). The effects on our culture can be easily spotted. However, a few days back, I came across news that was thoroughly refreshing to hear; Pakistani dramas are being aired on an Indian channel called Zee Zindagi. Curious as to what people had to say about our dramas, I was pleasantly surprised to note that people were very appreciative of our shows, story-lines and actors. The overwhelming response indicated that the audience was looking forward to watching how Pakistani dramas portrayed real-life situations with characters that have depth and substance. A few responses on Twitter made me realise how much our dramas are being liked in India: https://twitter.com/MeghaMarwah/status/483307090513887233 https://twitter.com/bhodia/status/483239612236582912 Some even went on to compare Indian dramas with their Pakistani counterparts, discussing how the former should learn from the latter. https://twitter.com/mysticsrishti/status/483996159086571521 https://twitter.com/snehal_gandhi/status/483532496139587586 https://twitter.com/powerofyogesh/status/482907900969365504 This is something to be truly proud of. The Indian drama industry is renowned globally and their television artists are revered wherever they go. And if, after having such a huge soap opera industry, they have shown such kind of appreciation towards Pakistani dramas, it is a huge compliment to us and our media. Not only does this show that our dramas are meritorious but also evidences the amount of talent Pakistani possesses. The first Pakistani drama to be aired on the channel was Bashar Momin. The storyline following the life of a gangster in Karachi is a fresh concept for Indian audiences. Although there are a plethora of Bollywood movies around the same theme, curiosity to know how Pakistan gangster storylines are different from Indian storylines would be interesting. Besides this, it provides Indian audiences a much-needed break from the typical mother and daughter-in-law feuds that have ruled their screens for over a decade now. Zindagi Gulzar Hai, Aasmano Pe Likha, Aunn Zara and Kash Mein Teri Beti Na Hoti are a few others that are being aired on the Indian channel currently. The main reason most of these dramas are so well-received in India is because the storyline they follow is usually focused upon social issues. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1zyiat_zee-launches-zindagi-channel-with-pakistani-content_tv[/embed] Pakistanis welcomed this as step in the right direction for both the nations and believe it will do well in portraying Pakistani culture globally: https://twitter.com/KhizM/status/481047078828011520 https://twitter.com/sharmeenochinoy/status/484638831082106880 https://twitter.com/MUsamaSiddiqui/status/484430727120158720 https://twitter.com/Ahmadpakistani/status/482210982089854976 https://twitter.com/AdabWaqar/status/476685116454879233 Pakistan’s image, for many countries, is largely coloured with terrorism, violence, deaths and destruction. Steps such as these, in which our true culture is portrayed in an amicable light, is something Pakistan needed to mend its broken image. This also encourages cordial ties between Pakistan and its neighbours; not only will this give both the countries a neutral platform to connect on, it will disperse many misleading notions of resentment that exist between the two neighbours. For years now, Pakistanis and Indians have been curious about life on either side of the border, this is a step in the right direction to bridge that gap felt by citizens of India and Pakistan. All in all, I applaud this step taken by the channel; it may be small, but it is a very significant one, towards cordial, bilateral relations.

The Oxford dictionary defines sexual harassment as,

“Harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks”

Gauging from this definition, the meaning is pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it? Apparently not. I am often surprised (read: unimpressed), by the type of conversations I hear surrounding the so-called ‘dubious’ nature of sexual harassment. A few years ago, a colleague came to me saying she felt awkward by the way her now ex-boss would treat her while they were at work. She wasn’t sure if he was interested in her, or if he was just being over-friendly – either way, his behaviour, which included both verbal and physical advances, made her extremely uncomfortable and she didn’t know what to make of it. For a minute, I simply stared at her. This was a bright, intelligent, young woman, who had been part of one of the most prestigious undergraduate programs, and here she was, telling me about a reoccurring unpleasant ‘experience’, unsure of what to call it. I am not one to sugar-coat the obvious, so I asked her two questions: a) Are you okay with him treating you this way? b) Would you do the same to him if you were interested in him? Needless to say, the answer to both questions was a no. And then it dawned on her: there were no two ways about her dilemma, she was being sexually harassed. She had refused to term it as such, because, you know, how could it happen to someone so independent and successful, on her way to a thriving career under his mentorship? Didn’t these things happen to people who were in more vulnerable positions? She refused to recognise that she was being sexually harassed because that would mean accepting she was weak. That’s when I told her how terribly wrong she was. Let’s get one thing straight. There is no grey area when it comes to sexual harassment. If a co-worker, man or woman, is making advances towards you, be it verbal or physical, and it makes you uncomfortable, its sexual harassment – no questions asked. It may come to you concealed in the form of flattery or ‘casual flirting’, or straight-in-the-face with an offensive comment or action. Do not ignore it! I am not saying you should jump to a conclusion straight away and file a complaint with your human resource department, but consider this: if this person makes you uneasy with their actions – especially on more than one occasion – and if you have tried to let them know that you are not okay with it then it is not okay. Use your judgment; is a compliment really a compliment when it makes you uncomfortable? Is a compliment really a compliment if you would rather not hear it? And, perhaps most important of all, is a compliment really a compliment if you have to think to this extent about it? I came across an interesting statement recently:

“If your flirting strategy is indistinguishable from harassment, it’s not everyone else that’s the problem.”

John Scalzi, the man behind these words, makes a very valid, strong point. It is important to understand that not everything is said in good faith and not every compliment is automatically a sexual advance. Everyone has their own way of communicating their appreciation, or lack thereof, and not everyone has their etiquettes down to the T. However, what it comes down to is how you feel about it. There is a difference between disagreeing with or disliking what someone says, and feeling discomfited as a result of it. Be mindful, use discretion. There is a fine line between what one construes as a casual work friendship and unwarranted sexual advances, but there is no mixing the two if you trust your gut. A casual friendship shouldn’t make you uncomfortable – and that should always be your red flag. Ultimately, regardless of the hype surrounding sexual harassment being dual in nature, my argument is plain and simple; irrespective of sex, gender, race, creed or culture, everyone is entitled to work in a safe, harassment free environment. Sometimes, we may not want to bring up the issue because we are afraid of the consequences, but if we don’t stand up for ourselves, who will? If we don’t make the decision to correct a wrong today, what if tomorrow, someone else gets it worse? Ask yourself these questions if you find yourself in such a situation. Confide in the ones you trust. Don’t be embarrassed. Take a stand for what you think is right. You are not a victim, you are not weak or helpless, so don’t treat yourself as such. You have the power to not only put the perpetrator to test, but to also change what happens in the future. You are not the one at fault here: know that. Believe that. Have you ever experienced sexual harassment at the workplace? Write to us at blog@tribune.com.pk and let us know! [poll id="349"]

“I hate these blurred lines. I know you want it. I know you want it.” The song that took social media by storm is undoubtedly catchy. As I hummed it, I was oblivious to the fact that the lyrics would create such a social media uproar and spark controversy all over the world, making it one of the most frequently played songs of the decade and promoting Robin Thicke to surpass all boundaries of fame or notoriety. For a long time, I wasn’t aware of what all the fuss was about. To me, Blurred Lines was just another song. The song introduced the ‘twerking’ phenomenon to the world with our once innocent ‘Hannah Montana’ showing the world how this ‘move’ is carried out at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMA) and it was then that I did a little bit of research to find out just how appalling and degrading the song was. The song that has been branded as a ‘rape anthem’ on several media platforms has been banned by the University College London (UCL) student union alongside 20 other UK student unions. And after carefully listening to the lyrics, I would rightly agree to the branding myself. The lyrics promote violence against women and reinforce rape myths, which several countries are working hard to dissipate. I failed to come across a single lyric that promoted respecting women, discouraging men from objectifying women or encouraged boys to make girls feel comfortable in their presence. Instead it does the complete opposite of it all and conceptualises untaken consent as something interesting and fascinating. In light of the controversy, one of the singer’s social media advisers’ thought it was a good idea for Thicke to participate in a live debate session on Twitter using the hash tag #AskThicke. It started out as an innocent marketing strategy to promote his then-upcoming album, Paula, dedicated to his wife - a wife who has already filed for separation. https://twitter.com/MariaJPrice/status/483861473882824704 My thoughts exactly. In hindsight, it truly is a wonder what his PR team was thinking when they decided to run this campaign. I didn’t follow the debacle myself, but as of now, I wish I had seen the events unfold. Those of you who did, I have to say, I’m jealous. https://twitter.com/_yungkoala/status/483727210621054977 https://twitter.com/bazlyons/status/483731287904374784 You would think it started out fine before it got hijacked. You would be wrong. The first question put forward to him was a personal one. https://twitter.com/davidviola/status/483728269934481409 I am curious, though. Has she? Or did the gazillion apologies at concerts not work yet? There were some genuinely curious questions as well. https://twitter.com/deansmith7/statuses/483972153608773632 https://twitter.com/JoLiptrott/status/483768538025701376 https://twitter.com/sophiaskinbjerg/status/487516457983827968 https://twitter.com/ThePoke/status/483885498281521153 https://twitter.com/Janus456/status/483897343993851904 https://twitter.com/katie_khan/status/484048300341854208 It wasn’t long before the puns started coming in. What do you expect when you write a song with the lyrics “I know you want it”, really? https://twitter.com/Picklechops_x23/statuses/483930442803212288 https://twitter.com/MaggieMimsy/status/486995994106941440 https://twitter.com/KittyKnits/status/483868883255033856 https://twitter.com/shakiraevanss/statuses/483771198073892864 The message is clear. We do not want young girls to look at a video of scantily clad women and get the idea that their bodies are to be used as mere sexual objects. We do not want young boys looking at the video and thinking that a girl’s consent is not really necessary and all you have to do is read between the lines. Treat women like human beings who have a right to be respected and have a mind of their own to make decisions. And more importantly, learn to respect those decisions. Stop objectifying women! Unlike his new album, the experiment proved to be excellent entertainment. https://twitter.com/suzanne_moore/status/483920877428695040 https://twitter.com/Independent/status/483977432803065856 The Twitter campaign had all the ingredients of a regular “ask me anything” publicity event: The pop culture reference: https://twitter.com/grungerelic/status/487453876082053120 The life lesson for future generations (and we all know we can learn a lot from Robin Thicke, he’s practically a cautionary tale): https://twitter.com/emmaensign/status/483957390769811456 The occasional death threat: https://twitter.com/MrDuttonPeabody/statuses/483894610683781120 A shout-out to his famous father: https://twitter.com/fowlm/status/484154323018846208 The hilariously appropriate tongue twister: https://twitter.com/mistertodd/status/484204293537275904 And a piece of advice: https://twitter.com/GuardianUS/status/486538208285818881 Needless to say, Robin Thicke was literally “asking for it” (no pun intended). https://twitter.com/Simmy41/statuses/483927591695708160 We are all aware of the fact that sexist attitudes exist in every corner of the world and will not cease to exist. But such songs strengthen and encourage such insolences instead of discouraging them. The reaction on Twitter (and his album sales) prove that the people are not willing to let go of such degradation of women easily.

To stand in the sunlight, over the lush green grass of a cricket ground, surrounded by hordes of people cheering you on while you aim to annihilate the stumps with that ball in your hand is no longer just a man’s dream. Today, women too aspire to have a career in cricket and recent events have shown that they are very much capable of becoming great cricketers. The Pakistan women’s cricket team made it to the limelight when the national squad won medals in the 2010 Asian Games and brought glory to their nation. This was a major milestone, not just for the cricket team but for women everywhere in the country. Before this victory, parents could never even consider allowing their daughters to participate in cricket. This win changed many perspectives and an increasing number of women are now allowed to engage in sports and think of having a serious career as cricketers. However, struggles for the average woman are still aplenty in the world of professional sports. Our country is blessed with much raw talent that needs to be polished in order to be fully made use of. And it is here that our women face the greatest challenge. They have the talent and the wish to strive further, but it becomes hard for them to find someone who can harness their qualities. Every woman dreams to represent her nation with a star on her uniform but these dreams are often shattered when a selector unjustly rejects them. After months of training, these women somehow make it to their district and regional teams, which is a glorious moment for them. From then onwards, they work towards playing at the national level, for which they labour day and night. Yet, on the final day, after the tests are done and the players are shortlisted, they find that their names are not on the squad list. Can you imagine the pain they must feel at the time? After all that they have done, the same old players are seen representing the country. Why are they not given a chance, one wonders. These women are harangued by many questions.

“Why I was not selected?” “Didn’t I deserve to be in the national team?” “What do they have that I don’t?”

And most importantly,

“What will I do now?”

No one can answer these questions. Under the layers of a corrupt system, where selections are primarily based on favouritism and personal ties, their future is often mutilated and crushed. Selectors ask for undue favours and we also come across instances of sexual harassment. This brings to mind the case of Haleema Rafiq, the 17-year-old cricketer who committed suicide a few days ago. She was one of the few who raised their voices against the injustices being done to them by the Multan Cricket Board. Yet, nothing was done to address her pleas. Instead, the board ended up filing a defamation lawsuit against her, bombarding her with a Rs20 million penalty, followed by death threats. This, eventually, became the cause of her dilemma that forced her to take her own life. Many Haleemas suffer silently every day at the hands of these heartless selectors and cricket boards. Just because they sit in positions of power does not mean that they have the right to treat a woman like she is some commodity. Many talented women quit cricket just because of the injustices done to them. Others keep their head down and continue with whatever district team they are affiliated with. To all these women I say, persevere. Speak out if you are being discriminated against. Focus on your destination and then remain steadfast in achieving it. There is no hurdle that you cannot cross. Your dreams are greater than their prejudices and misogyny. Your dreams are worth fighting for. Keep fighting till you end up in the middle of a cricket ground, with the crowds cheering your name and women everywhere following you as their inspiration.

It is a truth acknowledged in the subcontinent that no meeting is complete without a cup of chai (tea). The freshly brewed combination of masalas, cardamom or a frothy cup of doodh pati touches the tip of the tongue, instantly refreshing one’s mind. Some have even argued that chai purifies their souls. We all certainly love our tea! The addiction is tremendously mind-blowing, in its literal sense, and on a serious note, I often think Pakistani and Indians need a tea rehabilitation centre. When have you last visited a household where you weren’t offered chai? The alternative options are, of course, thanda (cold drink) or pani (water), but the fervour of making fresh chai for the guests is gratifying. The welcoming host would plead you to have chai, even if you are not an avid tea drinker. Some go into a state of denial if their offer for chai is declined or when they get to hear the forbidden words that the visitor doesn’t really drink tea. As difficult as it may be to swallow the assertion, the hosts offers you Pepsi or water. You are in a fix. You have to make a choice, something that is equivalent to a threatening drink or die situation. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] That situation is then followed by the rating of the refreshment. The guest remembers a host on the basis of how divine the tea being served at theirs is. You often hear, “The tea served at X’s house was very good.” It is as if serving the best tea possible will help the social aunties climb the social strata. Potential bahus (daughter-in-law) are also chosen on the basis of their tea-making abilities. If the husband is an avid tea drinker, the girl just has to learn how to make tea. There are no two-ways about it, period! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="236"] Photo: Pinterest[/caption] In modern times, coffee may have made place in our kitchen cabinets but chai predominantly takes up the larger portion in our hearts. What started out as a trading commodity during the British reign of the subcontinent, now sits in our jars filled to the brim. It holds the first position on our grocery list. However tea crazed we may be we cannot deny the multiple benefits it has on our health. It is considered to be a natural healer for headaches and is believed to help you digest a hefty meal, even though I am quite dubious about how that works. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] reaction animated GIF Photo: Tumblr[/caption] Tea contains flavonoid, commonly known as Vitamin P, which impedes the formation of cancer cells, prevents cardiovascular diseases and reduces stress levels. The alternative selections for this type of vitamin intake include apples, apricots, tomatoes, pears and raspberries. These items may not be readily available in our homes on a daily basis but tea almost always is. Be it a happy or sad occasion, tea is served, even when it is unasked for. It could also be served as a token of appreciation to the guest. It is the ultimate key to a good start to our day. The instant boost that it provides during the early hours of morning is a blessing, particularly for a groggy and irritable zombie like me lurking around the office. It is also believed to be a magic potion for connecting hearts and what not! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="250"] tea animated GIF Photo: Giphy[/caption] Likewise, teaholics, like me, have boosted the sales of dhabba walas and are now acquainted with the little boys who deliver the daily dose at our respective workplaces. The association with tea is so strong in our culture that the little boy refers to me as ‘woh baji jo chai mangwati hein’ (that lady who asks for tea). To date, he hasn’t figured out my name, nor has he bothered to ask. Intriguingly, Pakistan is not a cultivator of tea. Our Indian counterpart is however. We may import substantial amounts of tea from Kenya, Sri Lanka and from other regions across the globe. Alas, due to rivalry with our neighbours that has spanned decades, even a cup of chai could not establish a bond of mutual understanding and consequently, we are deprived of some of the finest teas in the world! Perhaps all we really need to do is extend an invitation for chai... I am sure any problem discussed over a steaming cup of tea can be resolved. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption]

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict has brought out what seems to be the misogynist, the racist and the overall hate in everyone. There are people who have asked Hitler to return and then there are people like Bill Maher who recently called Gaza ‘a crazy woman’. Then there is the Israeli professor who says the best way to fight wars is to rape women. How I wish that was a line from The Onion. How I wish it was a politically incorrect joke made by Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live. Or something some crazy extremist had said somewhere where they were still flogging women in the streets. Unfortunately for women and academics everywhere, this remark was made by Israeli professor Mordechai Kedar of Bar-Ilan University. He said and I quote,

“The only thing that will deter [the terrorists] is if they know that either their sister or mother will be raped if they are caught.”

He also went on to justify that this is just how “Middle Eastern culture” is. I must admit it’s hard not to take that personally, as a woman, as a feminist and as someone who generally and specifically condemns crimes against women and human rights’ violations. Mr Kedar has been a member of the military intelligence and is now a researcher at the Began-Sadat Centre for Strategic Studies. Comforting to know, isn’t it? Not to mention awfully smart. Completely ignore Geneva Conventions, they’re just hurdles. So are the bodies of the innocents. They’re just roadblocks on the way to a bigger, better Israel. And while you’re at it, take a culture’s sensitivities and use it against them. End the pretence of ‘defending your border’ and come up with a clear cut slogan: we are out to destroy everything about the Palestinians; their lives, their futures, their culture, their existence period. Clearly, there is no concept of cultural evolution and human rights’ violations involved in this argument. The university responded by saying that,

“Dr Kedar did not call and does not call to fight terror with anything but legal and moral means.”

The reaction to this statement has met with expected and justified outrage from feminist groups from within Israel and beyond – but this is hardly an exclusive feminist issue. This is a humanity issue – a country that is already creating enough pools of blood and incarcerated bodies must show some remorse, if it has any left, at this ridiculous and sickening thought. Is it not enough that Israel has already indiscriminately bombed innocent women and children and is basically forcing the Palestinians into extinction and, total and complete annihilation that, they now want to use women as a tool for revenge and extend their violent ambitions? To add to these atrocious crimes against humanities, here is an educational personality, no less, who comes up with advice on how to deter suicide attacks. Not dialogue, not compassion, not potential ways to bring peace but more violence, and let’s make it gender-based because that will really hurt them. Are they completely and wholly blind to what rape means and what a violent, unforgivable crime it is? Who is teaching them the rules of war? Whatever happened to sparing women and children? Whatever happened to fair play and justice, even in times of hate and disillusion? But I forget that this is a war where rules of fair play and human collateral damage hardly matter. So at this point, I do not even have logical comparisons that I can bring the reader’s attention to. At this point, my sensibilities sputter and the only theory that comes to my mind is that maybe Israel has lost all possible sense of ethical treatment of human beings and the principles of what is right and wrong. Perhaps the Israeli administration has already lost its moral compass: so a statement like this hardly ruffles any feathers of any human rights groups that are already tired of counting the bodies piling inside Gaza. Perhaps Israel’s complete and total lack of moral conscience when it comes to abundantly killing Palestinians has wiped all sense of what is humane and appropriate in a state of ‘war’, as they call it. In their blind hatred and racism, they have forgotten that what they are doing is paving way for another Holocaust – and this time they will join the ranks of those who have cost humanity rather than defended it.

Over time I have noticed a common trend on Pakistani Facebook pages, especially those of designers and celebrities: crude, caustic and downright hateful slandering of celebrities. I recently stumbled upon a picture of Humaima Malick looking gorgeous in an elegant Élan ensemble and all I could think of was the talent and beauty that exists in our country. But then I read the bitterest of verbal abuses on the picture, which included:

“She is lookin’ dumb and her makeup is damn worst” “Kitni ugly hai pata nai kyun uthaya hua hai isko” “This is behayaee and immoral behaviour”

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="448"]

Photo: Élan Facebook Page[/caption] Apparently, showing inches of your midriff is “immoral” and a bigger issue than dishonesty, breach of rights, self-righteousness and hatred. If a dress were to simply determine how decent or virtuous a person was then one wouldn’t need to develop any virtue at all. A woman in a scarf is seen as pious and one in a western attire as corrupt; a baseless prejudice that has people believing that morality lies in the length of a woman’s blouse. Funnily, all of these comments came from women using pseudonyms and pictures of objects or animals in their display pictures. It became apparent that these women were living highly controlled and over-protected lives. Sadly, women living under the strict patriarchal control of their husbands, fathers or brothers are not allowed to wear what they want, go where they want, work where they want and sometimes even marry who they want. Women who demand their basic rights are subjected to abuse and violence; curbing their chances to grow, thrive and survive. This points to the root issue of the breach of basic human liberties, including self-expression and living in a manner one pleases. Living in the 21^st century, where the world is witnessing the discoveries of the first draft of the human genome, Shinya Yamanaka’s induced pluripotent stem cells, Higgs boson at CERN and Photonic molecules at MIT, we are stuck judging women for their choices in dressing. It is unfortunate because, instead of respecting basic rights, they conveniently bash those who choose to live uninhibited lives. How can women be empowered when the image of an empowered woman becomes a subject to hate? When will women realise that they can only grow if they allow other women to freely express themselves? Our people need to realise that the country can only progress culturally if we reassess our standards of morality and respect, and appreciate everyone in the same manner. Making an issue out of something so trivial and labelling it immoral would not only disempower women but the entire generations to follow.

“Hey, you have lost weight?”

This is a question almost every woman in this world hopes to be asked. Every day, we discuss, think about, act on and cheat on this weight monster. Recently at work, one of my female co-workers proudly announced that her family friends got their daughter’s jaws wired so that she cannot eat or chew. The poor 17-year-old will be living on liquids for the next two years. What is the end result? Of course, she will shed all those ‘extra’ pounds and probably will be able to grab an acha rishta, but how inhumane is that? While listening to this conversation, I was shocked, worried and utterly embarrassed. When and how did we start treating our women in terms of pounds and kilos only? The woman who was killed by her brothers outside the court for their so-called honour and this poor girl whose jaws are locked for losing weight, are they both not the same? Aren’t they and others like them, going through the same misery? When I think about it, my mind starts making excuses. The only one I could come up with was that the girl must have been obese and so the parents, worried for the state of her health, had no option but to opt for such a beastly contraption. Even then, while I applaud the parents for their intentions, this is definitely not the way to go about obesity. Will this step not affect the girl in any adverse ways? Not taking any solid food, not chewing for two years, not going out with friends, explaining to everyone why she cannot eat her own birthday cake, isn’t that going to take a toll on her physical and emotional well-being also? Or does that not matter? Perhaps the doting parents are trying to save the poor girl from ridicule and bullying at school for being fat and so, again, they had no option but to resort to such extreme measures. If that is the case, then I agree with them for caring so much. But is this not another form of bullying? Aren’t those ‘rishta aunties’ we so eagerly wait for just a bunch of bullies? What if she feels like having a piece of raw fruit or vegetable? How can you, being parents, deprive your child of things as basic as an apple? Yes, physical appearances matter but not to this dangerous extent. It is unfortunate that health is still attributed to the physical state of a human body. Do we forget about emotional damage? Do we even understand that there is such a thing called mental health? But why blame the parents? Are they not just going by the rules set by society itself? Size zero is in fashion, is it not? I, too, am guilty of playing a part in all this. We have gradually replaced the word ‘health’ with ‘fashion’. We see models and skinny actresses as ideals for a healthy lifestyle. How can anyone expect us to have a high level of self-esteem, knowing that our bodies can never truly match their unnatural perfection? The fate of women in our part of the world rests in one question; is she pyari or not? And this can make or break them. Pyari, essentially means tall, fair and thin. Who made these standards and why are they followed so vehemently? Our women are performing multifaceted roles in this society; they are working, managing families, meeting friends, studying, taking part in sports and what not, and yet, we cannot refrain from categorising them under labels like fair, dark, tall, short, thin and ugly? Do we really want a generation of women who think of themselves just in terms of ‘bodies and sizes’ and nothing else? Will that make us a ‘healthy’ society? These questions need to be seriously pondered upon. Lastly, I would like to mention that in no way am I in favour of obesity. I believe that a girl is more than just a number. Losing weight is no big deal. Trust me, anyone can lose weight with pills for diarrhoea, but there is a healthy way of losing weight too and that is what we should be focusing on. We need to look beyond the kilos and inches. We need to recognise talent and intelligence not figures and scales. Jaw-wiring should be banned and doctors who perform such inhuman operations on young girls should be penalised. I hope against hope that this dangerous dilemma does not spread here, especially in Pakistan, where some people die of liposuction, laser treatments and diet pills on one hand... and starvation on the other.

When you think of movies under the Sanjay Leela Bhansali banner, you think of epic romances, of the colours blue, grey, and black, of love and passion, and women dancing in the most extravagant of lehngas. But the last thing you would expect from a Bhansali movie is a story about a young girl trying her luck in the patriarchal field of sports. This is why the movie Mary Kom was pleasantly surprising. [embed width="620"]http://vimeo.com/101509532[/embed] But Mary Kom coming from a big production house is not why I liked it. I liked it because of the following reasons: 1) It is a biopic. This kind of cinema is really inspirational and it gives the masses something to watch other than the mainstream Bollywood love stories, family drama and masala. 2) The protagonist is a female and this just goes to show that Indian movies have come a long way and have matured in terms of gender equality and giving a voice to the female population. 3) Despite it being an Indian movie, it’s not completely ‘Indian’. They have not tried to ‘Indianise’ the movie and have done justice to the local language, culture and mannerisms of the people of Manipur. Although Manipur is a part of India, it is very different from mainstream India which we always come across in movies. All the actors seem to be of Manipuri origin, except for Priyanka Chopra of course, and this makes the story seem original and believable. They have also highlighted the discrimination the people of Manipur face at the hands of Central Indians. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Mary Kom official Facebook page[/caption] 4) Priyanka Chopra. I don’t think this movie would’ve created such an impact without Priyanka’s award worthy acting. Though at first I was a bit sceptical because she signifies beauty and glamour, whereas the real Mary Kom is simple and athletic, but the filmmakers did a great job with Priyanka’s costumes and make up. They also made her skin look like that of the people of Manipuri. But apart from her appearance, Priyanka became Mary Kom in a way that nobody probably expected her to be. Her performance was very powerful and any young girl striving to achieve her dreams would be able to relate to her. Perhaps the best thing about Mary Kom is that it narrates not only the story of MC Mary Kom, the boxer, but also gives us an idea of the thousands of girls living in male-dominated societies that are too conservative and too rigid to let them follow their dreams. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Mary Kom. Photo: Mary Kom official Facebook page[/caption] While watching the movie, I thought of Maria Toorpakai from Waziristan, Pakistan, who had to disguise herself as a boy just so that she could play the sport she loved. After winning competitions, she received threats and so had to practice in her room but continued to pursue her ambition without giving up in the face of adversity. There are an innumerable amount of girls who do not get to do what they love just because their family, culture, society and religion say it’s not ‘appropriate’. This makes you think, because of backwardness, of how much talent Pakistan has lost? Our youth has a lot of potential but it is being wasted because we don’t have proper channels to nurture it, groom the talent and allow it to grow. Instead we suffocate it and keep it buried in our backyard and, in the case of girls, in our kitchens. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Mary Kom official Facebook page[/caption] Even though Mary Kom didn’t do so well at the box office, I am glad that Bollywood made this movie and hopefully, one day, Pakistan will also make movies about inspiring people like Maria Toorpakai and others who struggled but made it, with no help from their country or society. Maybe such a movie won’t be allowed to screen in Pakistan, the same way Mary Kom has not been allowed to screen in Manipur, but when has banning something ever stopped people from seeing it? People will watch it, nonetheless, and it might help in fixing certain distorted, unfair perspectives. This film will help people open up their minds a little, and make them understand the importance of coming out of their shell of bigotry and valuing talent irrespective of gender.

Two years ago… Sub-editor at the Sports Desk; a quick stop over or even a detour because, truth be told, there was no future. To write or edit about ‘dribble dribble pass’ and a ‘50th-minute strike’ was just not journalism for me, at least as a woman. Or so I thought of the job at that point. Six months down the line and then some more... Struggle. So much struggle. I felt like the desk was mocking me and I felt like I was mocking myself by trying to figure out how the world of sports functioned. From the day I had joined people kept questioning my choice with amused expressions on their faces. It really wasn’t a female-dominated field or even close to it, I had joined because it was the first opportunity after graduating and seemed like an ‘easy-ish’ challenge. I knew sports, I’d played different kinds for years but to actually know the technical aspects in depth, to know the names, who plays for which team, and the rules - so so many rules - now that was a whole different story. Who was going to take me seriously? I kept telling myself I would quit, or change desks. But once you’re in this world something just keeps pushing you to learn and to want to know more. Sports pages aren’t just about who won or who lost – it’s bigger than that. It has life stories, achievements of teams, politics and entertainment. You get to realise the struggles of female players in the country, or even around the world, and make a difference for them by telling their stories or even the stories of others (male athletes) who have risen from absolutely nothing in order to fulfil their passion. The amount of passion you feel is enough to want to continue in the field and achieve more. Two years later, present day... Senior sub-editor and desk in-charge, I had entered with a mind of a two-year-old and had grown a few years at least. This could not have been possible if it hadn’t been for my mentors who, despite my ‘brainlessness’ or ‘lack of knowledge’ about who the Pakistan cricket team’s captain was when I had initially joined, did not give up on me. With the right kind of motivation anyone can make it, be it male or female. Honestly, you can go leaps and bounds in this field by the way you write or edit the pictures you can use, the kind of story ideas you can take out from the smallest of events – the freedom is liberating. It’s a brilliant conversation-starter too and a break from all the hard talks of natural calamities and political upheavals. Now when I tell others, or even when my friends or family members introduce my job for me, I can see the look of surprise on people’s faces instead of the initial bemusement. Some of course, when asked to guess, still think I either work for the magazine or write for the ‘gossip columns’, but when reality dawns, their looks are one of a kind. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with either of those areas, it’s more about learning the unexpected. The icing on the cake, however, is when people in the field, higher up the chain, be it other sports editors or someone directly related to a certain sport, discovers a female is heading the desk, the response of ‘this is so refreshing to hear’ just makes all the struggles to get here, as well as future struggles, worth it. If the country can produce female players, female sports-journalists should follow through as well. There are limitations for both but there is still some scope, especially when it comes to making a difference, be it in the smallest of ways.

I am your archetypical Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) supporter. I am young, charged up, and me and my counterparts are the backbone of the “tabdeeli” you see around you, whether you agree with it or not. And one thing is for sure – working for PTI as a volunteer worker has just reiterated my faith in the fact that whatever men can do, women can do equally well or even better. They also bring to the political arena an innate wisdom, just like my leader Imran Khan had said a few years ago in a television interview, and keeps stressing in his speeches. While Pakistani women have always been politically awake and Mohtarma Fatima Jinnah is the role model, followed by others, PTI mobilised women (as well as the youth) like never before. Is that what has irked Maulana Fazlur Rehman and others like him? Is that why they have started flinging the ugliest exaggerations and insults at our mothers, sisters and daughter? Not just as a PTI supporter but as a Pakistani man, I am offended. Recently, in the parliament, the Maulana described the PTI’s Azadi dharna’s participating women as having bad characters and labelled them as women from the dark side of society. Imran, in comparison, believes women and youth to be the biggest agents of positive social change and, hence, stake holders in the political arena. This attitude points towards the Maulana’s insecurities and his panic at what is about to happen. The growing lack of respect in Pakistanis towards the parliament owes to such politicians who do not see the use of profane words and ideas as a violation of the parliament’s sanctity. They expect Pakistani women to stay silent when rights to education, health and a better life have been taken away. Taken away from us is our pride, our honour and the respect that once came with a Pakistani nationality. Men like the Maulana have taken it away from us. But no more. According to the social and religious norms of Pakistan, and the constitution of the “Islamic” Republic of Pakistan, a woman should have equal rights. However, women in Pakistan face substantial amounts of oppression and refusal to the freedom they are entitled to. A society where the law is naught, some women are given the illusion of freedom while others aren’t even entitled to such luxuries and are taught to be slaves to the walls they have come to know as their homes. Restricted in a bubble of limitations, the average Pakistani woman is apparently the sole representative of the honour of the family. We turn a blind eye to immoral acts of our sons, while the girl is to speak when spoken to, dress how she is told and marry any man her parents believe to be “financially stable”. Some Pakistani women, who learn to break free of the shackles the society has caged them in, develop a sense of ownership in society. These are women who have realised that they have a voice and the right to an opinion. These are the women that seem to intimidate the patriarchs. Enter stage left – Maulana Fazlur Rehman. The mind-set of Fazlur Rehman and his likes is drenched in patriarchy, and not in accordance with our religious teachings. Sadly, many unknowingly start believing their propaganda. Islam does not take away a woman’s right to vote, does not forbid their participation in political activity and certainly does not need them to be silent in the face of oppression. But men like “Maulana” Fazlur Rehman, political men, who never really gave women enough respect to recognise their power, just cannot understand this. They cannot accept how women are peacefully protesting alongside men against nepotism and corruption, going to PTI sit-ins, chanting slogans and singing along to our national songs. They turn towards character defamation when they have nothing else to turn to. I have been working for PTI for a while now, and I can assure you that we know how to respect our women. It is a strange feeling when my friends and I form a human chain, to protect our female participants who always sit in the centre of our dharnas. I have seen amazing, smart and inspiring women join us from whom we, men, have learnt a lot. I would encourage my mother and my sister to come here because the environment is so good. Contrary to popular scandals, there is no “dancing” of women going on except rarely when the crowd is very charged up. But, hypothetically, even if that were the case, why the moral policing? If they disagree with our political stances, they should counter that with solid arguments. How dare they talk dirty about women? In a recent peaceful hashtag protest campaign, PTI’s women started the hashtag, #WeAreWomenOfPakistan followed by #RespectIsOurRight. Whether you are from PTI or not, it is time to silence the scandal-mongers and give Pakistani women the respect they deserve.

I remember a crowded market back in Karachi where we stood in a corner going through the merchandise. I was with one of my ‘foreign-educated’ aunts. Suddenly, I saw her face turn a shade of red. I dismissed it and we went back to sifting through the clothes. A few moments later, it happened again. Her face turned red and her brows creased, but this time she turned around and before I knew it, she had grabbed a young boy by the collar.

“Can’t watch where you’re going huh? This is the third time you’ve passed by this place and grabbed me. Do you want me to beat you up or do you want me to hand you to the guards?!” said my daring aunt as her voice rose by a few decibels.

A couple of men here and there began shouting at the boy in disgust. My aunt’s husband, who was also with us, quickly realised that the matter could escalate and asked her to calm down. The boy was visibly fraught and wanted to leave as soon as possible. After a little more reprimand, he ran away on his tiny, skinny legs. We went back to shopping and soon forgot the incident. I was 18 at the time and until then, I was always told that girls were to remain silent when someone ‘touched them inappropriately’. If someone was ogling you or following you, the best thing to do was to sit back quietly or retreat to a place of safety. While I have always been a believer of this conventional wisdom, something about what my aunt did that evening made me question those age-old pieces of cautionary advice. Until then, I had always thought that if you raised your voice or attacked someone who attacked you, it would only bring problems (dishonour to your own image and that of you family). Something about my aunt’s loud rebuttal made me wonder what would happen had I had the courage to stare down at the creepy maulvi who used to stare at me instead of what he was teaching. Or the ‘well-respected’ family member who was famous for his inappropriate touching (yet no one did or ever said a thing against him). Or the awful driver who would verbally harass females when they were alone or the random creep who would deliberately walk into a shop and stand so horrifyingly close that you were forced to leave without completing the errand. The list was endless. What would have happened indeed? There is a lot of talk about rule of law and passing bills in Pakistan when it comes to sexual harassment and violence against women. There are plenty of NGOs and women’s rights activists speaking out against crimes against women and offering them protection from sexual harassment. The United States recently released a video showing various actors who have taken part in an initiative launched by President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden titled It’s On Us which addresses rapes on campus and how everyone must join hands to prevent it. They talk about how victim blaming is not the answer, nor is it helpful. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Top, left to right: Kerry Washington, Barack Obama, Jon Hamm. Bottom, left to right: Joel McHale, Joe Biden, Rose Byrne. Photo: Screengrabs from 'It's on us'[/caption] While it seems like a noble and just cause in the light of the recent Steubenville rape, it seems like a far cry in our society. Even though rapes and sexual assault cases are far more prevalent in Pakistan, the reportage is meagre. Despite having laws in place regarding sexual harassment, there is a social and cultural taboo regarding a woman speaking about harassment. Whether it is at the workplace or at college, you will hear women ‘hushing’ up the stories, avoiding being named, avoiding public scrutiny or any kind of activism that can highlight the issue. On college campuses, you may also find powerful groups of young men using the guise of ‘ragging’ and ‘horseplay’ to corner women into humiliation and embarrassment. At work it can be a powerful employer or a supervisor against whom you can’t lodge a complaint because it would mean just more problems. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"]

Top, left to right: Connie Britton, Questlove, Randy Jackson. Bottom, left to right: Kevin Love, Mayim Bialik, Common. Photo: Screengrabs from 'It's on us'[/caption] You can’t blame these women – you can bring them a thousand laws, a million lawyers and they still wouldn’t open up or talk about being raped or molested. The fault is not in the legal system alone (which, of course, also needs a lot of work) or the political fronts where this issue is not being highlighted as it should be.The fault lies in our social fabric where the onus of harassment and predation falls directly on the victim. The fault lies in the eyes of our own brothers and fathers and friends and sons who objectify women, who attack them for speaking out and who judge them for being strong and vocal about their rights. The fault lies in the horde of people who treat sexual molestation as a crime different from theft or robbery or any other kind of assault. The fault lies, first and foremost, in the stigma that we have created for women which prevents them from feeling safe, independent and equal.

Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan, DJ Butt and their merry gang kicked off their Pakistan tour yesterday by visiting the Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) stronghold; Karachi. They undoubtedly drew a large crowd consisting of people from all walks of life. But then again, so does Jamaat-e-Islami. Large numbers at rallies or not, one thing that really gets to me is the massive pool of contradictions that are the PTI. They are credited with ‘emancipating women’ and the number of women at their processions and rallies is always highlighted. Yet the party had the lowest number of women contesting general seats during the elections. They speak of ending dynastic politics and feudalism, yet their second in command is a “pir” and is currently preparing his son to enter politics. They speak of being more educated and capable, yet they use the worst possible language and take name-calling to a whole different level. Imran definitely touched on a number of issues yesterday; issues that matter a lot to the average Karachiite, including the water mafia, Lyari gang wars and how rural Sindh is direly in need of Naya Pakistan. But after spending more than a month protesting in Islamabad and reminding us on an almost hourly basis of how rigged these past elections were, it is almost astounding how Imran and company conveniently forgot to mention anything regarding rigging yesterday. Actually a number of events just seemed to slip from their memory: Zahra Shahid Hussain’s murder and how they accused MQM of assassinating her, the protest at Teen Talwar regarding rigging and NA-250, all those phone calls to the Metropolitan Police in London about a certain statement regarding said protest by Altaf Hussain, re-polling of NA-250, visits to London and Imran approaching Scotland Yard to arrest Altaf. All this was simply forgotten and I believe the rally set a new record on collective, selective amnesia. So much so that Imran actually thanked Altaf before the rally began for his hospitality—the wonders. It now seems, that according to Imran, the only places where rigging did not take place are the province of Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa (K-P) and the city of Karachi – riveting revelations. Unfortunately for Imran and PTI, many of us have the ability to retain memories. I for one will not be able to forget how Imran continues to pressure a democratically-elected prime minister to resign from office, how PTI stormed Red Zone with cranes and how PTI has asked its supporters to not pay taxes and utility bills. And to show that he means business, he recently burnt his utility bills on stage. I wonder how he gets fuel without paying taxes or bought that plane ticket back to Islamabad, but then, that would become an entirely different debate. Regardless of all his faults, one must commend Imran for making a very wise decision to now tour the country as Islamabad protests slowly fizzle out. Next stop is Lahore, and I do look forward to Imran not making any valid arguments or presenting any substantial evidence to back his accusations. On an closing note, I would just like to remind everyone who is reading that Imran did win the World Cup, is extremely good looking even at 60 plus and plans on ending poverty in India.

In an era where celebrities predominantly exercise an almost magnetic influence over their fan base to promote products and virtually dictate the way the populous dresses or behaves, it becomes exceedingly rare to see an individual stand up and talk about a pertinent issue. Emma Watson, an actress known mostly for her performance in the Harry Potter series, showed how celebrity power can be used in a positive way. Speaking before a UN conference, Watson kick started her ‘HeForShe’ campaign, a movement which aims to achieve gender equality by including men in the fight against female oppression. Although as a race, we have made giant strides towards gender equality, in many parts of the globe this remains an ever-present problem. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x26gj07_emma-watson-harry-potter-heforshe-un-speech_news[/embed] Take Pakistan for example. The amount of women, who report rape cases or even domestic violence cases for that matter, is at an abysmal low. This is due to a culmination of many reasons. At the forefront is the general attitude of society. Particularly in low income areas, the prosecution of rape in most cases is non-existent. This is due to the police and the community not taking pragmatic steps to ward off crimes against women, with most dismissed by the police force. Only recently, a teenage girl doused herself in flames after the local police department refused to investigate her claims that she was a victim of sexual assault. Watson highlighted how the issue of gender inequality is relatable to both the sexes and is not only an issue for women. Domestic violence in which men are the victims is swept under the carpet as well, with the victims of assault made to feel ‘less manly’. Over the years, feminism has become synonymous to man-hating, with the general consensus painting a feminist as an egotistical, self-centred woman who blames every problem she faces on the opposite sex. Such one dimensional thinking is criminally wrong, as at its core feminism fights towards social and political equality between both the sexes; it doesn’t aim to make one gender superior to the other. This is what the #HeForShe campaign aims to inculcate and only through realistic steps can the misconceptions on both sides be eradicated. The campaign, which is in process, hopes to receive support from a 100,000 people who would include a 100 other men and boys in the dialogue of gender equality. So far, the campaign has received support from various Hollywood celebrities. https://twitter.com/twhiddleston/status/514658903662288896 https://twitter.com/russellcrowe/status/514646108241285120 https://twitter.com/petergallagher/status/515207140299251713 https://twitter.com/onemightytree/status/514681880218595329 https://twitter.com/chriscolfer/status/514485978833358850 https://twitter.com/ForestWhitaker/status/513443764317474816 https://twitter.com/simonpegg/status/514350204108439552 Even Prince Harry showed his support for the campaign. https://twitter.com/HeforShe/status/515262240942223361 The movement in itself is an extremely wise way to go about such a sensitive issue, as instead of viewing the concept of feminism and gender equality as a problem only important to women, it highlights how the participation of men is vital to its success. As humans, we have followed the teachings of the times hundreds of years before ours for too long. It’s time to stand up for an issue which affects all of us on a personal level. For example, why should we judge and label women on the length of their dress? Why the influence of a father is exponentially diminished in the eyes of society? It is unjust for a society to assign markers and judgements on an individual merely due to his/her sex. Depression and suicide is on a steep incline in our country. Men who are expected to be invincible to any sort of emotion find it exceedingly hard to relate their vulnerability. This causes scores of men to commit suicide, merely because they feel ashamed to go in the opposite direction to the role that the society expects of them. It is time we sign off to the expected ideals of masculinity prevalent in the 50s and work together as civilised humans. We have a treasure trove of talent in our country and exploiting it in its totality is crucial for a better Pakistan. It is thus counterproductive to force young girls to stay at home, slaving over dinner, while their brothers go out and receive an education. We need to educate our children for a brighter tomorrow; oppression and inequality needs to be weeded out from the grassroots. Hence, it is refreshing to see a celebrity raise an important issue, an issue which affects both males and females. Believing in equal opportunity for men and women does not make you a “Feminazi” nor does it make you any less of a man. It makes you human.

“There is no hypocrisy in Pakistan; we just have completely different standards for men and women.”

The comment above summarises the general feedback I received on a meme I created, which went viral on Facebook last week. I hope the irony of that statement was not lost on them. The idea behind the meme was to call out a population that was in an uproar about Humaima Malick crossing over to the tinsel town next door but was showing a general acceptance towards Fawad Khan doing the same. I am no moral authority to judge anyone’s behaviour but it is always fun to start a debate. Once the meme was in public domain, my opinion on the matter was irrelevant. The comments ranged from discussions on the nuances of being half-naked, as opposed to being shirtless, to the dissection of each intimate scene in both movies. I believe one person even did an analytical study on the distance maintained, or the lack thereof, between the protagonists. Apart from some internet trolls, the general discussion on Facebook was fruitful, with a varying degree of opinions, till the big guns got involved. Pages like Pakium dot Com and Viral in Pakistan took the image from my page and reposted it on their pages, without permission or credit. My page has a mere 8,000 likes, which is nothing compared to the likes of 500,000 that Pakium dot Com enjoys. When the admin of that page stamped his moral authority on the subject, asking people to report the image as being against our nation, our culture and our religion, the floods of hate mail started filling my inbox. The hate mail ranged from the usual ‘ghair parlaymani alfaaz’ (non-Parliamentary words) to tangible threats to my life, both virtual and physical. The online moral authorities had spoken. When the harassment failed to incite a response, the admin of Pakium dot Com, filed a false copyright infringement claim with Facebook claiming to represent Walt Disney Corporation. Facebook took down the content without so much as investigating the matter. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="518"]

Photo: Shehzad Ghias[/caption] The old adage was inverted,

“Jeet gayee mehangayee, har gaya English.” (Inflation won, English lost)

We are coming out in hordes on the streets against the ‘Gulu Butts’ of Pakistan but there resides a Gullu Butt in all of us. Those unable to wield sticks on the streets abuse the power of the internet. It is very easy to label anyone as being anti-state, just as people on television do not exercise any caution in doing so. Pages with clout on the internet are using their power to settle personal vendettas. They derive their authority from the number of likes on their page, the online equivalent of the ballot box. Without decrying Facebook dhandlee (rigging), I plead the virtual Gulu Butts to exercise caution. If they have a problem with an image or a person, engage in a meaningful dialogue rather than mob rule. A lot of thought and effort goes into creating content for the internet. A meme going viral is a moment of pride for the creator. All that work should not be undone just because the content questions a person’s view of the world.

Outlawed in Pakistan won an Emmy this year for Pakistan and this is a triumph that must be celebrated on many levels. Pulitzer Centre grantees Habiba Nosheen and Hilke Schellmann spent five years in making this 45-minute-long short film, exposing the inherently flawed justice system of Pakistan. It’s another addition to the success spree of alternate filmmaking in Pakistan, two years after Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy won an Academy award for her documentary. It’s also an endeavour to bring forth the severe violation of women rights and how women, from extremely opposite social and economic backgrounds, work together to empower women all over and making them heard. The short film also talked about the crucifixion of the oppressed in a sexual crime – especially if the oppressed is a woman. [embed width="620"]http://vimeo.com/53191285[/embed] Unfortunately, only the trailer of the short film can be accessed right now in Pakistan but, nonetheless, the fleeting glimpse reveals its essence. It starts with a telltale flute playing in the background and the scene is of a barren Sindh desert and dingy town streets. The alleged crime is as rotten as the sewerage system of the street shown, which can no longer be upgraded – like the lives of its dwellers. However, there’s a spark of hope still evident in alleged rape victim Kainat’s eyes, despite the tiresome seven years of trial and tragic loss of her brother in the fight. The most daring thing about Kainat is that she comes on camera and tells her story without covering her face. She looks into the viewers eyes and tells them that it’s not her who has to be ashamed and hidden; it’s her persecutors. By facing the atrocity without any victim’s guilt and shame, she has challenged the power paradigms and gender hypocrisy of our society. The moment a rape victim starts pursuing her case, the greatest trauma she has to go through is social shaming and trial for being besharam (shameless) and outspoken for our culture and values. Since when did we start associating a women’s body with a man’s honour is a mind boggling question indeed but it’s a sad fact that, alongside men, even women take an equally excruciating part in stigmatising other women. The stigma of hushing and quieting women exists on many levels. We come across this every day, on various personal and social levels. If a boy is staring at you, following you, making cat calls, or groping you in public transport or crowded public places, you are always advised by your family to stay quiet and ignore it as it would be the only respectful way. The logic goes that by denying its existing and sticking your head in the sand, the problem would go away itself – simply cease to exist. This behaviour exists equally in all social strata; we have seen our parliamentarians defend the practise of burying women alive in Balochistan. We’ve heard General Pervez Musharraf condemn Mukhtaran Mai for speaking up and causing national ‘shame’. We’ve seen it all. That’s exactly the reason why most of the rape cases go unreported in Pakistan as the family wants to protect its own ‘honour’, rather than the dignity and mental health of the victim. It catapults a vicious cycle where the victim starts feeling guilty and responsible for bringing this curse upon herself. It becomes fateful in a society where no medical or emotional support is available for the victim. Reprimanding in the name of ‘honour’ is what we hear from the alleged rapists in the short film as they conveniently say that she should have remained quiet had she been respectful and her speaking out alone confirms her ‘characterless-ness’. Kainat challenged this stereotype at the age of 13, and she was lucky that her family supported her in this regard. Cladding a worn out slipper, she is shown climbing the lawyer’s chamber/human right activist’s office and the image becomes quite symbolic of the deeply tattered justice system of Pakistan. The short film comes across as a balanced endeavour as the makers have tried to present both points of view. The film revolves around Kainat’s struggle to relocate in Karachi, face constant pressure and threats, pursue her case in the court and start working with War Against Rape and how, during this journey, the brave girl shows remarkable courage and resilience. Kainat’s story also questions our norms that are often used as weapons to persecute women and relax punishment against their oppressors. Kainat was declared ‘karo kari’ (black female) after being raped; in other words, she was sentenced to death for being impure and her brother was killed for not complying by this sham tradition. Women in Pakistan have always been exploited and silenced in the name of culture, values and traditions. Every woman in Pakistan can relate to Kainat’s story at some level. We have all been repressed and, instead of being helped, were asked to silence our voices. Change can only come when we start accepting and listening to the victims without any taboos and that’s what Outlawed in Pakistan has done.

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